The biggest challenges of starting the new year as someone with depression

The new year is always thought to be a time of growth and new beginnings, but as someone with depression, the new year can be anything but. It’s cold, the days are short & it gets dark early (I’m in the Midwest). Motivation is low for people without depression and is extremely low for people with depression. One would think that the new year would be a great time to add a resolution about self-care or exercise or something to help with one’s mental illness, but I’ve found that it’s actually the worst time and a huge challenge for me. For the past several years I’ve made a new year’s resolution just like the majority of people, but because of my depression, I never had the energy to even start. Some people will start their resolution, but give up after a while and I couldn’t even get started. Of course, I had good intentions with making a resolution (or if I’m being honest, 2 or 3), but the reality is, for me at least, that taking on something new is just too big of a challenge at least around the new year. Not only is my motivation low, but I can’t help but compare myself to others who are accomplishing goals and being successful with their resolution. This comparison just makes me feel worse (and yes, I know I shouldn’t be comparing myself to others, but you know it just happens). The dark thoughts of “I’m not good enough” come flooding back when I think about making a resolution at the start of the new year and that just drags me deeper into the darkness. I think this next year I won’t make a resolution around the new year, but will make it a goal to start a resolution sometime in the spring or summer. Hopefully my motivation will increase with the temperature and daily amounts of sunshine.

Aside from the challenge of seeing everyone with resolutions, the new year is a time that reminds me that another year has come and gone. While for some people, this would be a celebration of the fact that they made it another year, but for me it’s often a reminder that I struggled through another year. Not only that, but everybody is looking ahead to all of the new & exciting things happening in the upcoming year and all I can see are the dark times & struggles ahead (because even if I’m feeling good at the moment, I know that inevitably, the struggles will come back). This has been another great challenge of starting the new year as someone with depression. It’s almost like I don’t want another year to be here and gone because it’s just a reminder of how hard and how long I’ve struggled. Somehow, though, I have found the strength to carry on through all of these new beginnings and I know that this new year will be no different. If you’re not someone who struggles with depression or mental illness, I encourage you to be mindful of those who do when discussing your resolutions. For some, this is a great time to start something new, but for others, this is one of their greatest challenges.